I know I've been really vague about the "suckiness" that's going on, and for the most part that will have to stay vague. (because a lot of it has to do with my job and for various ethical reasons I can't post too much on my public blog)
But I will tell you that I felt like a crazy person for most of last week. No I literally mean crazy, as in mentally unstable, not sane, nuts, etc. It's scary to feel like you might snap at any moment. And that's how I was feeling. That might even be more information than I needed to share.
Anywho.... So along comes these two days I said I was dreading (and I really, really was) and funny thing- I feel okay. I'm rolling with it. My insanely crazy-packed schedule is lightening up to a tolerable level. But even the remaining craziness I find myself able to handle. I have more patience than I expected to have or that I usually have. I no longer feel like I'm teetering on the edge of sanity or that I might punch the next person that ticks me off. I'm really okay.
That leads me to think: "what the heck was I so worked up about? What was the big deal? This wasn't so bad at all! I really made a big deal out of nothing..."
But when I really thought about it, I realized- it's not that it wasn't a big deal. That insane stress I was feeling was very real and I didn't make it all up in my head.
See, I had several kind, sweet friends directly tell me (independently) that they would pray for me to help me get through my stressful time, even without knowing why I was so stressed. And I don't doubt they meant it and that they did in fact pray for me. So [silly me] the reason I feel okay right now and the reason my hell week turned out to be not so bad is because prayers are heard and answered. And sometimes we get what we ask for.... I got what I asked for, and what my friends asked for on my behalf-- I got through my stress in one piece and when I needed it, my burdens were made light. It's kind of miraculous when you put it all together.
How many times do we fail to show gratitude for blessings of peace, comfort, help, and other answers to prayers, because we don't realize that the reason we feel better is because prayers were uttered and answered on our behalf?
To all those who helped lighten my load this week, whether by praying for me, bringing me kleenex when I ran out in the middle of an emotional breakdown in the office next door (and then offering to juggle for me even though you don't know how), helping covering my hearings, offering to help, or keeping me in your thoughts, Thank You. You were part of my small miracle this week. And you know who you are.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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